Thursday, September 6, 2007

How To Detail A Mini


(This is an email from my friend Randy who used to detail cars for a living)

Jan,

When I received the pictures of your Mini I couldn't help but wish that I was standing in your driveway with a 5.0 horsepower Honda pressure washer and and nice bottle of degreaser. Your fine Mini is the perfect car to detail! Its size, curves, and glossy finish reminds me of the last Southwest airlines ticket agent I made out while trying to print out my boarding pass.

I wouldn't armor all the dash, but that's just me. The new dash boards of today are meant to have a matted look to them. So I always like to keep things the way I found them...just like the line cook I made out with at dennys at 2 am, while she was in the middle of making my pancakes. I made out with her and then I said "as you were."

When it comes to cleaning your leather...If its not too bad, you can use the leather cleaner...but usually that stuff doesn't work good. Its only the uptight owner of the BMW Z3 50 year old scottsdale lady that bleaches her hair blonde and wears turquoise and enjoys wine tasting and golf only when its "not too hot" outside and likes to go to gatherings with friends that talk about
land and cabin investments and how they just moved from Virginia where its "so muggy, compared to this dry heat" followed by a mature chuckle and another statement on how amazed they are that you are a "native to az." followed by another "weather" comment and then a "hey, you've got to try barbaras flank steak" and then your looking at these people who
are talking to you about hunting trips to the yukon and the old juke box they purchased from an antique dealer in sedona and the deep cherry finish they used to waterproof their decking, followed by more talk of the fresh salmon on the grill, and your looking at their glossy lips...the kind older people get after they ate some meat and follow it with a Pinot wine and you say to yourself....."these guys have no idea I ride an 82 Honda XL250 enduro". Its THAT TYPE OF LADY that thinks Leather cleaner is THE ONLY PRODUCT that will clean her leather seats.

-Rand

2 comments:

Richard said...

I used the word "dynamo" yesterday to describe my wife. She objected, due to the fact that she felt the word "dynamo" was owned by Randy and his "2'10" Dynamo" story.

Rob said...

I have always felt that Randy is one of the funniest humans alive (or dead for that matter).

But I don't think I have heard the 2'10" Dynamo story.

Please share.