Thursday, September 13, 2007

Torso Failure

My partner has been wanting a human torso model like the one pictured above. He just wants one real bad. He's been searching ebay, but they can cost as much as $500 so he hasn't gotten one yet. So a couple weeks ago he and I are in my office working when one of the agency producers who doesn't know my partner walks into my office hefting a large cardboard box saying he has a present for me. He then pulls out the above torso complete with all the necessary organs to sustain life, and gives it to me while my partner watches in disbelief.

The torso was a prop from a tv show I worked on a year ago, and the production company decided to send us some of the props. Here's a clip of this torso in it's national debut (it's a non-speaking part). The woman in this clip is the actual health teacher from Bountiful high school in Utah. She was nice enough to come to L.A. and be interviewed for the show:

We also interviewed Lebron James. There's a couple links of that interview at the links below (you'll have to copy and paste):

Monday, September 10, 2007


The question has been asked by my cousin Mellissa what the name of my blog APEX MEGADOMINION PEARL DESTROYER means? There is no answer to this question. Unless by answer you mean, "It is the name of my 1986 Oldsmobile, which I drove
for the past 10 years before replacing it with an inferior car with cumbersome features like "climate control" and "a working radio" and "windows that roll up and down."" I've include pictures of the Pearl Destroyer not to boast of my possessions or to discourage those who have not been as fortunate as to own a car such as this, but as a lesson to the young people--if you graduate from college, work by the sweat of your brow, believe in yourself, and break into one of the world's best advertising agencies, this is the lifestyle you can expect to enjoy.


While it's true that Barbi is technically a single-celled organism with easily replaceable limbs and no central nervous system to speak of, Ruby insists that she be buckled up for safety.

Friday, September 7, 2007

An ad I wrote for one of our old clients. They didn't buy it.

RubyCom 3000

Ruby and I recently made a fort, complete with a small mainframe computer called the RubyCom 3000. Unfortunately our haphazard and gleeful mashing of fake computer buttons blew up six third-world countries.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

A Flyer I Made For My Neighbors

Some Historical Facts About Cavehusbands

(This is an email from Randy that shows a vast knowledge of world history not
found in today's young people)

That email meant the world to me. Not today’s world, but the world of
Yesterfar, when Columbus discovered the earth was round, and wild
berries grew on every street corner and gentleman wore monocles and
cavewomen hunted for food while the cavehusband kept watch of the


-Teeth are definitely your most high maintenance bone.

-A bureau is what rich people call a dresser.

-A baby with a phone can get a lot done...making contacts, keeping her people on task, etc.

-At Chevron, when they say "hi", they mean it.

-Friends are a dime a dozen, but associates are hard to come by.

How To Detail A Mini

(This is an email from my friend Randy who used to detail cars for a living)


When I received the pictures of your Mini I couldn't help but wish that I was standing in your driveway with a 5.0 horsepower Honda pressure washer and and nice bottle of degreaser. Your fine Mini is the perfect car to detail! Its size, curves, and glossy finish reminds me of the last Southwest airlines ticket agent I made out while trying to print out my boarding pass.

I wouldn't armor all the dash, but that's just me. The new dash boards of today are meant to have a matted look to them. So I always like to keep things the way I found them...just like the line cook I made out with at dennys at 2 am, while she was in the middle of making my pancakes. I made out with her and then I said "as you were."

When it comes to cleaning your leather...If its not too bad, you can use the leather cleaner...but usually that stuff doesn't work good. Its only the uptight owner of the BMW Z3 50 year old scottsdale lady that bleaches her hair blonde and wears turquoise and enjoys wine tasting and golf only when its "not too hot" outside and likes to go to gatherings with friends that talk about
land and cabin investments and how they just moved from Virginia where its "so muggy, compared to this dry heat" followed by a mature chuckle and another statement on how amazed they are that you are a "native to az." followed by another "weather" comment and then a "hey, you've got to try barbaras flank steak" and then your looking at these people who
are talking to you about hunting trips to the yukon and the old juke box they purchased from an antique dealer in sedona and the deep cherry finish they used to waterproof their decking, followed by more talk of the fresh salmon on the grill, and your looking at their glossy lips...the kind older people get after they ate some meat and follow it with a Pinot wine and you say to yourself....."these guys have no idea I ride an 82 Honda XL250 enduro". Its THAT TYPE OF LADY that thinks Leather cleaner is THE ONLY PRODUCT that will clean her leather seats.


Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Many profound and important blogs will soon be blogged onto this blog and then added to the blogosphere.

Dear Reader of This,

Hello. How are you? Good. You look nice. I'll write some better stuff later.