APEX MEGADOMINION PEARL DESTROYER

I'm On a Horse

2010-02-19T23:04:00.000-08:00

Smell Like a Man, Man.

2010-02-07T22:27:00.000-08:00

Poems By Ruby Bagley

2010-02-06T14:49:00.000-08:00

ONE LONELY SPIDER
by Ruby June Bagley

A spider is in its web
it has nothing to kill
until it's dead
it could not, would not catch a fly
to suck its blood until it dies.

My Star
by Ruby June Bagley

Star light
star bright
You're the first star I see tonight
But I see a monster,
Goodnight, friend star!

The Camera Adds 10lbs.

2010-02-06T14:45:00.000-08:00

FANTASTIC MR. FOX

2009-11-25T21:08:00.000-08:00

I took Ruby and Ezra to see FANTASTIC MR. FOX tonight. The first half was a little slow and subtle for children (though I enjoyed it), but they like the second half. I loved it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2igjYFojUo

EZRA QUOTES

2009-11-24T19:05:00.000-08:00

Tonight Ezra corrected Jill and me on two different occasions. I told him to run like the wind and he informed me in all seriousness that the wind doesn't run. And Jill told Ruby she had broken Lucy's heart by taking away her harmonica, and Ezra pointed out that "you can't see her heart mom."

Where I've Been And Want To Go (so far)

2009-11-24T16:44:00.000-08:00

Hurry, Help My Super Bowl Commercial Win The Wall Street Journal Poll

2009-02-03T18:43:00.000-08:00

My spot is currently in first place, but e-trade is gaining on me. Click on this link and vote for the careerbuilder.com spot. This will be a kind act, which also infers that you care about small children and nature. The polling ends tomorrow:

http://online.wsj.com/public/resources/documents/info-SUPERBOWL09.html

I HAVEN'T ENJOYED SOMETHING SO MUCH SINCE RIDING A ROLLER COASTER WHILST SIMULTANEOUSLY GETTING A MASSAGE AND EATING A HOT DOG.

2009-01-24T13:22:00.000-08:00

Cleaning Policies of Heaven

2008-12-24T13:21:00.000-08:00

I was trying to teach Ruby why it's important to keep her room clean, when in fact it was I who had something to learn.

Will Ferrel Commercials

2008-02-13T21:52:00.000-08:00

The Old Spice commercials I wrote starring Mr. Will Ferrell can be seen at the interweb link below. I suffer from male-pattern baldness:

http://oldspice.com/index_v.html

Super Bowl Commercials

2008-02-13T21:48:00.000-08:00

A couple years ago I made a commercial that ran during the pre-game show, but this year was my first time having a commercial in the Super Bowl, and I had two. This proves that I'm a very important person.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpVP70U9LDg&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xq-Rg3FMvUg&feature=related

Here's another one that's on TV now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSCbSNsDavY

King Finn

2007-12-27T17:04:00.000-08:00

4 years cancer free!

2007-12-27T16:56:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, Ruby had a bone marrow transplant four years ago to treat AML Leukemia. We recently celebrated her fourth bone-marrow birthday. We're very grateful for all those who prayed for her and helped make it happen.

Lucy Pearl Bagley

2007-12-27T16:39:00.000-08:00

Torso Failure

2007-09-13T15:33:00.000-07:00

My partner has been wanting a human torso model like the one pictured above. He just wants one real bad. He's been searching ebay, but they can cost as much as $500 so he hasn't gotten one yet. So a couple weeks ago he and I are in my office working when one of the agency producers who doesn't know my partner walks into my office hefting a large cardboard box saying he has a present for me. He then pulls out the above torso complete with all the necessary organs to sustain life, and gives it to me while my partner watches in disbelief.

The torso was a prop from a tv show I worked on a year ago, and the production company decided to send us some of the props. Here's a clip of this torso in it's national debut (it's a non-speaking part). The woman in this clip is the actual health teacher from Bountiful high school in Utah. She was nice enough to come to L.A. and be interviewed for the show:

We also interviewed Lebron James. There's a couple links of that interview at the links below (you'll have to copy and paste):

http://youtube.com/watch?v=l8XdWkr0caY

http://youtube.com/watch?v=vJIBZC7gCeQ&mode=related&search=

WHAT IS APEX MEGADOMINION PEARL DESTROYER?

2007-09-10T11:51:00.000-07:00

The question has been asked by my cousin Mellissa what the name of my blog APEX MEGADOMINION PEARL DESTROYER means? There is no answer to this question. Unless by answer you mean, "It is the name of my 1986 Oldsmobile, which I drove
for the past 10 years before replacing it with an inferior car with cumbersome features like "climate control" and "a working radio" and "windows that roll up and down."" I've include pictures of the Pearl Destroyer not to boast of my possessions or to discourage those who have not been as fortunate as to own a car such as this, but as a lesson to the young people--if you graduate from college, work by the sweat of your brow, believe in yourself, and break into one of the world's best advertising agencies, this is the lifestyle you can expect to enjoy.

BUCKLE UP

2007-09-10T11:12:00.000-07:00

While it's true that Barbi is technically a single-celled organism with easily replaceable limbs and no central nervous system to speak of, Ruby insists that she be buckled up for safety.

An ad I wrote for one of our old clients. They didn't buy it.

2007-09-07T17:45:00.000-07:00

RubyCom 3000

2007-09-07T11:46:00.000-07:00

Ruby and I recently made a fort, complete with a small mainframe computer called the RubyCom 3000. Unfortunately our haphazard and gleeful mashing of fake computer buttons blew up six third-world countries.

A Flyer I Made For My Neighbors

2007-09-06T10:47:00.000-07:00

Some Historical Facts About Cavehusbands

2007-09-06T10:17:00.000-07:00

(This is an email from Randy that shows a vast knowledge of world history not
found in today's young people)

Jim,
That email meant the world to me. Not today’s world, but the world of
Yesterfar, when Columbus discovered the earth was round, and wild
berries grew on every street corner and gentleman wore monocles and
cavewomen hunted for food while the cavehusband kept watch of the
cavechildren.

THINGS PEOPLE SHOULD BE AWARE OF

2007-09-06T10:13:00.000-07:00

-Teeth are definitely your most high maintenance bone.

-A bureau is what rich people call a dresser.

-A baby with a phone can get a lot done...making contacts, keeping her people on task, etc.

-At Chevron, when they say "hi", they mean it.

-Friends are a dime a dozen, but associates are hard to come by.

How To Detail A Mini

2007-09-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

(This is an email from my friend Randy who used to detail cars for a living)

Jan,

When I received the pictures of your Mini I couldn't help but wish that I was standing in your driveway with a 5.0 horsepower Honda pressure washer and and nice bottle of degreaser. Your fine Mini is the perfect car to detail! Its size, curves, and glossy finish reminds me of the last Southwest airlines ticket agent I made out while trying to print out my boarding pass.

I wouldn't armor all the dash, but that's just me. The new dash boards of today are meant to have a matted look to them. So I always like to keep things the way I found them...just like the line cook I made out with at dennys at 2 am, while she was in the middle of making my pancakes. I made out with her and then I said "as you were."

When it comes to cleaning your leather...If its not too bad, you can use the leather cleaner...but usually that stuff doesn't work good. Its only the uptight owner of the BMW Z3 50 year old scottsdale lady that bleaches her hair blonde and wears turquoise and enjoys wine tasting and golf only when its "not too hot" outside and likes to go to gatherings with friends that talk about
land and cabin investments and how they just moved from Virginia where its "so muggy, compared to this dry heat" followed by a mature chuckle and another statement on how amazed they are that you are a "native to az." followed by another "weather" comment and then a "hey, you've got to try barbaras flank steak" and then your looking at these people who
are talking to you about hunting trips to the yukon and the old juke box they purchased from an antique dealer in sedona and the deep cherry finish they used to waterproof their decking, followed by more talk of the fresh salmon on the grill, and your looking at their glossy lips...the kind older people get after they ate some meat and follow it with a Pinot wine and you say to yourself....."these guys have no idea I ride an 82 Honda XL250 enduro". Its THAT TYPE OF LADY that thinks Leather cleaner is THE ONLY PRODUCT that will clean her leather seats.

-Rand

Many profound and important blogs will soon be blogged onto this blog and then added to the blogosphere.

2007-09-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader of This,

Hello. How are you? Good. You look nice. I'll write some better stuff later.